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Lollie's Life

I grew up dirt poor in a small town in Texas. As the youngest of six kids, in a three bedroom, one bath house, the only thing that saved my internal organs was the fact that four of my older siblings were boys who could pee outside! And "OUTSIDE!" was my mother's favorite word! There was no such thing as a "toy room", are you kidding me...I remember when I was like four or five years old, my aunt got me a baby doll for my birthday and my mom whispered through the side of her mouth, "You know, that's an outside doll right?" Fine with me, but then I got my butt whooped when I was feeding her mud pies! What the heck man! Honestly I can't even recall that many toys so to speak, and the ones we did have were to be shared with the siblings. Even Santa Clause knew the drill...To: David and Doug, love Santa. It was a bicycle!! And there was no 'schedule' posted with the card; thus the fights ensued. Taking turns was something we taught ourselves to keep the order, no parent was there to call for the fair amount of time, because they worked! I remember during many thunder storms, being ordered to go "OUTSIDE!". My brothers and myself would sit in the back of my dads pickup truck and play games like; who could mimic our mother the best...things like, "Jiminy Cricket", "You are getting on my last nerve!", "God is going to cast you straight to hell for that!" We spent so many hours entertaining one another with the disfunction of our reality! To this day, we are some of the funniest people you have ever met...in Texas! Can you imagine growing up in a family of jokers, prankers and smart asses and then releasing those embedded traits into the big world?! Karen was not impressed!

I consider myself funny...I certainly make myself laugh...I even did stand up comedy at one time in my life and tore the house down many times...figuratively speaking. But life...oh, life...move a redneck, quick witted funny girl to a place of people who are easily insulted...I can unintentionally piss off someone is seconds! I didn't know!! I thought everyone grew up like me! And being someone who would rather be beat with a belt than to hurt someone's feelings, this was a rough transition. But then age happened...Impatience...intolerance...Tired of your shitence...I do go out of my way to be nice to people...but sometimes it's so annoying when people look at humor as a lack of moral character. If you don't think God has a sense of humor...google the geoduck!

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